Tuesday, November 25, 2008

150 Things You Didn't Want to Know about Me

Snatched from Annie (a.k.a. my Mom)…

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink – I think not…

02. Swam with wild dolphins – I don’t swim in the ocean. Or with big fishies…

03. Climbed a mountain – Nope.

04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive – I don’t drive, so that would be a little difficult.

05. Been inside the Great Pyramid –I’ve never even left the country.

06. Held a tarantula – Hm… a gigantic furry spider… no.

07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone – Um, no thank you- I bathe alone.

08. Said “I love you” and meant it – To my family, duh.

09. Hugged a tree – That might hurt a little.

10. Bungee jumped – Of course! Not.

11. Visited Paris – No. And I don’t really want to either.

12. Watched a lightning storm at sea – No, but it might be kind of cool!

13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise – Are you kidding? In the cold?

14. Seen the Northern Lights – No.

15. Gone to a huge sports game – Oooh!!! Yes! Let’s go watch a bunch of arrogant athletes throw a ball around! Or not. I have books to read.

16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa – Again, with the never-been-out-of-the-country thing…

17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables – With my Mom and brother.

18. Touched an iceberg – Why?

19. Slept under the stars – Does being in a tent count?

20. Changed a baby’s nappy – I’ve had two foster-sisters and a cousin who’s more like a brother. Of course I have.

21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon – Egad, no!

22. Watched a meteor shower – Never seem to see much.

23. Gotten tipsy on champagne – I don’t even know what that tastes like.

24. Given more than you can afford to charity – I generally don’t have money. But I do try to tithe.

25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope – Are you kidding? I OWN a telescope!

26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment – A year after my Grandma died, Grandpa FINALLY decides to bury her ashes. The Lutheran priest did something that my brother and I had been joking about. It’s awkward when you start laughing when you are burying someone.

28. Bet on a winning horse – Don’t care.

29. Asked out a stranger – Um. No.

30. Had a snowball fight – Who hasn’t? Lots of fun!!! Except when you dodge a snowball and ram your head into a vehicle. Twice.

31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can – Yes. And my Mother told me that I can only do that if I an bleeding or being kidnapped.

32. Held a lamb – I don’t remember.

33. Seen a total eclipse of both the sun and moon – Of the moon, yes. I’m still waiting to see the sun eclipsed.

34. Ridden a roller coaster – Yeesh, no! I cried on the ride that makes you spin in a circle a couple of times.

35. Hit a home run – I hate sports.

36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking – I don’t recall.

37. Adopted an accent for an entire day – Ooh! That sounds like fun! My best friend (we’ll call her Rosencrantz—it’s an inside joke) and I did go around goodwill acting like British people for awhile. That was fun!

38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment – Yes!

39. Had two hard drives for your computer – No? I don’t know.

40. Visited all 50 states – No.

41. Taken care of someone who was drunk – No. Although I did play twister with my tipsy Uncle once.

42. Had/Have amazing friends – Yes! Rosencrantz!

43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country – I can see that this is going to be a recurring theme….

44. Watched whales – No.

45. Stolen a sign – Why?

46. Backpacked in Europe – And again…. I don’t even have a passport yet.

47. Taken a road-trip- Yes!

48. Gone rock climbing - Nope

49. Midnight walk on the beach – Nope

50. Gone sky diving – Oh yes!!! Of course I have jumped out of a plane with nothing but a piece of cloth to save me from falling to my doom. Or not.

51. Visited Ireland – Again, the farthest I’ve ever been is Hawaii. But I would really LOVE to go to Ireland!

52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love – I’ve never been in love.

53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them – I don’t think that I have, actually.

54. Visited Japan – Okay, come on! Is this all just some big ploy to make me feel poorly traveled?

55. Milked a cow – You don’t milk beef cows (like the ones I live with).

56. Alphabetized your CDs – What, all four of them?

57. Pretended to be a superhero – Oh please! Why is everyone so obsessive about people who run around with their underwear on the outside??

58. Sung karaoke – NO.

59. Lounged around in bed all day – Well, at least half of it.

60. Played touch football – I dunno..

61. Gone scuba diving – No.

62. Kissed in the rain – Um. No. (I’ve never been in love, remember?)

63. Played in the mud – I live in the country, of course I’ve played in the mud. Anyone who hasn’t has missed a large part of their childhood.

64. Played in the rain – Yes!

65. Gone to a drive-in theater – Nope.

66. Visited the Great Wall of China – Okay, seriously people. I HAVE NEVER LEFT THE COUNTRY…. Need I explain this to you again??!?

67. Started a business – No, but I helped Mom with hers.

68. Fallen in love and not had your heart Jbroken – Never. Been. In. Love. Seriously.

69. Toured ancient sites – I’ve been up in the loft of our barn plenty of times! It’s got the whole dusty, rotten wood look down pat.

70. Taken a martial arts class – Once I was forced to do one class of it taught by some friends. I sucked.

71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight – ?

72. Gotten married – apparently, I do need to explain this again.

73. Been in a movie – No, but I’ve done some skits and a play.74. Crashed a party – How rude.

75. Gotten divorced – …you guys are really slow learners, huh?

76. Gone without food for 5 days – No.

77. Made cookies from scratch – Did you forget who my Mom is? Like, duh!

78. Won first prize in a costume contest – Yes. At the harvest party at Church several years ago.

79. Ridden a gondola in Venice – You’re just not getting this are you? Besides, if I were to leave the country, I’d go to England and Ireland.

80. Gotten a tattoo – No.

81. Rafted a river – No.

82. Been on television news programs as an “expert” – No.

83. Gotten flowers for no reason – No.

84. Performed on stage – Yes, lots of fun, that!

85. Been to Las Vegas – No.

86. Recorded music – No….

87. Eaten shark – I don’t like seafood.

88. Kissed on the first date – Okay. Let me clarify still more. I’ve never been on a date and I’ve never been kissed.

89. Gone to Thailand – Are you going to go through all of the countries in the world this way?

90. Bought a house – Nope.

91. Been in a combat zone – No.

92. Buried one/both of your parents – NO! Thank heavens!

93. Been on a cruise ship – No. I would prefer a tall ship.

94. Spoken more than one language fluently – Workin’ on that.

95. Performed in a Rocky Horror Picture Show – Sorry, what?

96. Raised children – Never been in love. Never been kissed. Never dated. Never had kids.

97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour – No. That would probably involve leaving the country.

98. Passed out cold – No. I’m thankfully not the fainting type.

99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country – And again.

100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over – Nope.

101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge – No. But I have driven over what has been deemed “the creepiest bridge EVER” by yours truly.

102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking – Oh, probably.

103. Had plastic surgery – Whatever.

104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived – nope

105. Wrote articles for a large publication – No.

106. Lost over 100 pounds – No. If I lost 100 pounds I would be toddler-sized.

107. Held someone while they were having a flashback – I’m sorry?

108. Piloted an airplane – I don’t even drive yet.

109. Touched a stingray – Ew. Why?

110. Broken someone’s heart – Shall we go over this again?

111. Helped an animal give birth – Ew! No!

112. Won money on a TV game show - Nope

113. Broken a bone - No

114. Gone on an African photo safari – .... I suppose you’ll figure it out eventually.

115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears – No. It’s ugly and then my Mom would grab onto it and lead me around.

116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol – I don’t remember.

117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild – No. My Mommy taught me not to eat things that I find outside.

118. Ridden a horse – Yes. And looked like a dork because I was scared.

119. Had major surgery – No, thank you.

120. Had a snake as a pet – Ewww!

121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon – no.

122. Slept 30 hours in a 48 hour time frame – If I was asleep, I probably wasn’t counting.

123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states – Okay, seriously people…

124. Visited all 7 continents –And AGAIN!!

125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days – I think not.

126. Eaten kangaroo meat - No

127. Eaten sushi – Ooh, yummy. Raw fish…. Er NO!.

128. Had your picture in the newspaper – No.

129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about – I don’t know.

130. Gone back to school – Never left it.

131. Parasailed – No.

132. touched a cockroach – NO. NO. NO.

133. Eaten fried green tomatoes – Ew.

134. Read “The Iliad” – Did you forget who my Mom is? Yes!

135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read – Yep. Tolstoy. Dostoevsky.

136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating – No thank you.

137. Skipped all your school reunions – Not out of high school yet.

138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language – Vaguely.

139. Been elected to public office – I’ve been elected president in a mock election before.

140. Written your own computer language – Not really all that good with computers.

141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream – I don’t even know what my dream is.

142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care – No way!

143. Built your own PC from parts – Not good with computers.

144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you – I don’t draw.

145. Had a booth at a street fair – No.

146. Dyed your hair – Nope. These highlights are natural!

147. Been a DJ – No.

148. Shaved your head – No.

149. Caused a car accident – Nope.

150. Saved someone’s life – Nope.

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